Revelations

I've been thinking alot, these days............reflecting, understanding, fitting pieces together as best I can........right now this song called "Running Out" by Juliana Hatfield is playing...........ironic..........anyways, I've been thinking about life and how it was, how it got, and how we end up where we are right now and then, where do we go from where we are?  or do we go anywhere?   I pray.......I'm learning to pray about everything...........It DOES work.........i'm still learning to have the patience that you need to have along with that...........I'm just tired, physically and mentally............and I need to regenerate............some respite...........man, a vacation would be awesome...........ashland, medford, somewhere up along the coast for a few days would be awesome, just to get away..........i need to get the hell out of this house, but at least I can deal with this for a little bit...........I need my own place and Persephone needs to be able to be free in our own place...........that's all there is to it.............I slept all day today, I was so exhausted.........this job takes alot out of people...........it's the nature of the beast thing.............i promised to go see ruby and erin j. and the kids tonight, but i am still so tired............it was a hard week.............i have also been doing EMDR therapy and she showed me how to do it by myself, so I have been doing that, too........at work I go up on the PES unit and talk to people, see how they're doing, share my own experience strength and hope  and offer support at the Hope Center.  I go into the locked unit, too and see how folks are doing and where they're at and touch base with them just before discharge.  This kind of work can be traumatizing to the workers, it is! who am i trying to kid? right?   i love to be of service, though............